Life’s Too Short to Drink Cheap Beer
The title of this post goes out to the makers of Warsteiner beer, because it is their slogan. The slogan itself has very little to do with the blog post as a whole, but certainly allows this blogger to segue into a topic of pure interest for him and maybe a few others.
I a man of fine tastes. I enjoy a relaxing evening on a lake’s shore while listening to some Eric Church or even better Coldplay. Just sitting around, but not alone. Oh no, never alone. I must be with the guys…and the biddies too. Biddie is a slang term used by douches to refer to a pack of women…is that right, a pack of women? I heard they are like felines and felines are often packs….but then there is a pride of lions…maybe it’s a pride of females. Are we proud of our females? I am proud of my female compatriots, they are cool. Okay it’s settled then! I must be with the guys and our pride of biddies! This may be a simple life and one that passes slowly, but that is what makes it better altogether. Life’s too short to drink cheap beer…but this is amended in the Yadam thesaurus to mean “Life’s too short to hangout with people who suck”. I know this may seem harsh, but I am not calling anyone out. I’m all your friends are swell people who have the utmost respect for your personal boundaries and always want to make sure you’re doing what pleases you, but just in case. There is no reason to spill the bottle of life out with people who make you feel like shit. There is no worse feeling than people bullying you and I know this first-hand…kinda. It’s easy enough for me. Despite my intense demeanor and hard hitting blog posts, I’m actually a big softie who wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’m adept at taking insults and running with them. Taking pain and ignoring it, but your all out there reading may not feel the same way. I know this is not an emotional hotline that you dialed in order to bawl and express how much pain your boyfriend (or girlfriend) has put you through, but I’m rambling now and once I get rambling in a post it’s game over. Life’s too short to drink cheap beer…life’s too short to do what other people want you to do. There are necessities in life that many people hate. Getting a job, eating, pooping, and Sunday afternoon bowling on ESPN are all things we wish we didn’t have to deal with. However, these are necessary, especially if you want to stop drinking cheap beer and have any beer for that matter.
But when the clock strikes five and you’re out the door running, do not be the tool of society. Instead try doing something a little fun. Like going out and sitting by a lake’s shore and turning on Kenny Chesney or even better Angels & Airwaves and play some cards…but not alone, oh never alone because life is too short to drink cheap beer. Or life is too short to spend it alone. Solitude sucks, just ask the novel Brave New World. Despite its reputation as a distopian novel, I find one message completely accurate and that is how terrible it is to be an outcast. I’ve also experienced this and trust me, it is not anything to be contented with. Life is too short to drink cheap beer….
life is too short to be ignorant. Reading a book is something that I get immense pleasure out of. It is like fried okra for the brain. Also, open up the newspaper (I think they still exist…it’s been a while) and engage in the crossword or Sudoku puzzle. It is exciting to see how capable of mind you are. This part isn’t even over! Next time you are with the guys and maybe a pack of biddies(I’m not sure if your biddies are a pride, I know mine are, but your biddies….eh) try out a little game of Scattergories or Trivial Pursuit. Games which will either crown you king or make you look like a horse’s ass. Either way they are fun and I know board games, novels, and puzzles aren’t the most exciting things to consider in this wide world, shut up and try it. Like my father always said, you can’t fix stupid and Life’s too short to drink cheap beer….life is too short to wait around for someone to talk to you. I know this is my biggest weakness on this list. I have two problems when it comes to texting and almighty Facebook, I am hesitant to talk to anyone first (male or biddy) and I have a severe problem with being the last one to say something. Like I really really have to send the last message or my mind implodes which is something everyone would like to avoid. Anyway, this article is not about me, it’s about you the reader. If there is one thing I have learned in my life it is to be engaging. Walking up to someone and talking to them first is impressive. Also, talking to someone personally is phenomenal. People love a good listener, but the first key to becoming a good listener is letting people know you are there to listen which consequently and ironically involves talking. You have to build trust by voicing your own thoughts first, get a person to come out of his or her shell by showing him or her that yours is shed and floating away with the wind. There is an old saying that I just made up, “He who is without trepidation cast the first word”. Another classic that I concocted just now, “Two options diverged in my life and I…I took the one less traveled by and that was talking to someone first”. I mean if one paraphrases Jesus and Bobby Frost so eloquently you most listen to him! Now if only he could fit in a Ronald Reagen quote, his audience would be fixated with his every word as if it were its cocaine! How’a bout “A guy’s a guy. How come you won’t talk to him”.
There’s a Regan quote paraphrased! So there you have it. A couple of translations from Warsteiner’s slogan “Life’s Too Short to Drink Cheap Beer” which can be applied to life more applicably than just drinking beer. I mean people cannot even do that until they are 21 (for my United States audience, for my German audience it’s 14) and life just gets so juicy and good long before that ripe old age.