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My Strict Thanksgiving Schedule:

There are many opinions out there on what is one’s favorite.  Some people claims Ohio State is their favorite football team, pizza is one’s favorite food, or what have you.  For this guy, Thanksgiving is without a doubt my favorite holiday.  There a few things which are nearly automatic on Thanksgiving.  From seeing old friends, meeting up with family, the Turkey Day 6K, and eating a heaping mound of food; there are some things people just look forward to.  For yours truly, I have had the same strict Thanksgiving schedule for my entire life.  While this year may include a changing in the menu or a shift in what teams play football; rest assured the schedule stays the same:

1) Wake up somewhere between 9:30-10:00…

Remember, the more time you waste sleeping on Thanksgiving, the worse person you are.  Waking up anytime after regular breakfast hours (8-11) means you have officially ruined your Thanksgiving experience.

2) Brush my teeth and take a quick shower…

There are two big things Thanksgiving has in common with every other day: 1) hygiene is still important and 2) Your breath is going to smell when you wake up.

3) Go downstairs and eat my mom’s egg casserole…

Not everyone gets to share in this outstanding family tradition, but perhaps you have a go to Thanksgiving breakfast meal yourself.  Just remember to find that sweet spot where you eat enough to expand the old stomach, but not enough where you aren’t hungry for dinner.

4) Drive to my grandmother’s…

Not excting

5) Find the most comfortable spot on my grandmother’s couch and not move until dinner/commence football watching….

Usually the Lions are awful and get slaughtered in the first Thanksgiving contest.  Luckily, there aren’t horrible this year and play at home, so they might not get dominated by the best player in NFL history (Arian Foster) and the other guys he plays with.

6) Eat dinner…

If you don’t get thirds, you’re soft and need to rethink your priorities.  This is the day of the greatest food ever and you muffed it badly by only taking one serving?  Shame.

7) The “After-Dinner-Nap”…

It”s what really completes Thanksgiving dinner.  Sometimes I just sack out on my grandma’s floor; although, a couch position is optimal.

8) Catch the end of the afternoon game/beginning of the evening game…

More pigskin?  Thanksgiving is defined by gluttony and the sport of football.

9) Drive to my aunt’s…

This is my mom’s sister while my grandma is my dad’s mother.  Anyway, it’s just riding in a car.

10) Crack open a beer and start playing  game…

The board game varies every year, but there are standbys: Outburst and Scattergories are the basics.

11) Dominate the women in Trivial Pursuit…

Every year it is men vs women in Trivial Pursuit.  Nothing is more intense…except maybe the circus.

12) Just talk…

The family manages to waste so much time talking about nonsense.  Main topics include where we may go for summer vacation together or reminiscing about my siblings’ and cousins’ adventures to Europe.

13) Drive home….

More car action.

14) Eat leftover casserole or whatever is in the fridge…

Gotta take advantage…soon they’ll all be gone.

15) Get the best night of sleep ever…

Having your stomach full and heart happy leads to something spectacular: REM sleep.


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