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The Real Top 16

What is up ladies and gentlemen?  Just another edition of the RT16 brought to you exclusively here on this very blog.  Let’s delve into what is sure to be an exciting listing of the REAL top 16 teams in college football.


#16 Ole Miss, 3-0 (def. Texas 44-23): The Longhorns are but a fading memory of the RT16 following week 1, but the Rebels are some fresh SEC blood.  Ole Miss looked dominant for most of the game in Week 1 against Vandy, took care of business against FCS Midwest in Week 2, and only made matters worse in Austin by thrashing Texas IN AUSTIN this past week.  Remember BYU’s 550 rushing yards against Texas?  The problem wasn’t exactly solved as Ole Miss racked up 275 on the ground and beat the Longhorns 27-0 in the second half.  A week off for the Rebels before a visit to Tuscaloosa.

#15 Stanford, 2-0 (def. Army 34-20): Stanford’s offense remains as consistent as the density of water.  The Cardinal have scored 34 in both of its first two games.  A shame the defense couldn’t hold up and give me a win against the spread, but forgiveness is a virtue and a 14 point win is enough for Stanford to hold onto a RT16 spot this week.  Now the Cardinal face upset alert as the Sun Devils of Arizona State come calling.  The defense will need to be better.

#14 Miami Florida, 2-0 (BYE): When making a REAL list, it’s hard to decipher what exactly is worth more…Miami was on BYE this week and falls a couple spots, but were Northwestern and Oklahoma State’s wins more impressive than a bye week?  Miami probably had a team 7 on 7 which was harder competition.  Nonetheless, the Canes slide two spots as the Florida win seems like a few eons ago.

#13 Northwestern, 3-0 (def. W. Michigan 38-17): Ask Michigan what should be taken for granted.  It was nice to see Northwestern have a semblance of defense for the first time this season.  We’ll need a little more Oregonian of a performance against FCS Northeast this upcoming weekend, but respect for the Wildcats getting off to an undefeated start, giving hope to Buckeye fans across the country that the scheduled might look less high school-esque than expected.

#12 Oklahoma State, 3-0 (def. Lamar 59-3): It’s no secret huge wins are impressive when you play the plankton of the football aqua.  The Cowboy alumni are shelling out hundreds if not thousands following this victory…and I cannot imagine how many new Cowboy fans we’re going to be seeing in 9 months.  The only people feeling more taken advantage of than the former Cowboy sex slaves is Lamar…Insert final “Dirty Game” scandal quip here.

#11 UCLA, 2-0 (def. Nebraska 41-21): I can already see Jim Mora walking into the locker room, his Bruins down 21-10 after an abysmal first half, and saying “This is how you honor Nick Pasquale?”  Emotions are huge in college football, and the emotions spawned by the UCLA tragedy were not to be underestimated.  The Bruins scored 38 unanswered points and beat Nebraska 31-0 in the second half and the emotions and intensity spawned by the death of Nick Pasquale undoubtedly aided in the emotionally charged comeback.

#10 Louisville, 3-0 (def. Kentucky 27-10): Recognizing the terrible quality of Louisville’s opponents compared to the rest of the RT16 causes a slight decline in the Cards’ value.  Expect a continued freefall unless teams begin losing.  Louisville is going to need a lot of help to maintain a high standing in the eyes of the RT16.

#9 Ohio State, 3-0 (def. California 52-34): Waiting for a defense to show its face in Columbus, the Bucks are soon becoming terrifyingly beatable.  Michigan looking atrocious against Akron assuages a little worry about a non-perfect regular season…but Wisconsin and Northwestern are looming with Braxton Miller being hampered by a knee injury.  Kenny Guiton may be an unsung phenom as a backup…but he’s still just a backup who has played marginally well against Cal who thinks defense is a myth and San Diego State who lost to FCS Midwest Week 1.


It’s halftime…last weekend I was able to rant about mustard which I could have done for quite a while longer.  I wanted this week to be as special…but how could I possibly even match my mustard rant?  I can’t, in all honesty.  The mustard rant was a special moment between man and keyboard and its equivalent has hardly been known throughout history.  Today, I address something I already addressed, but I won’t really address what I was going to address after already having addressed…because I won’t you to have fresh eyes, just read this and get to know the Oklahoma State scandal a little better:


#8 Florida State, 2-0 (def. Nevada 62-7): The Seminoles haven’t exactly played standouts in their first two games, but they have thus far looked like a possible ACC juggernaut.  October 19th will tell us a lot about the RT16 and how accurately I’ve judged the two ACC heavyweights.

#7 Washington, 2-0 (def. Illinois 34-24): After a stroll over FCS West this upcoming weekend, my darlings start one of the tougher four week stretches any team will face this season.  The classic HAHA lineup (home-away-home-away) against Arizona, Pac-12 bullies Stanford and Oregon, and a date with underrated Arizona State.  This week the Huskies dominated Illinois far more than the score dictated, racking up 615 yards during a de facto road game in Chi-Town.  What will happen from here on?  We’ll find out…#IBelieve

#6 Texas A&M, 2-1 (lost Alabama 42-49): Johnny Ca$h (also known as Johnny Mon€y by some) played ridiculously well and only kept himself on the top tier of Heisman contenders despite the loss.  So that’s all I’ll say about Ca$h Mon€y.  We knew A&M’s defense would be the issue in this game and proved everyone quite right.  Alabama nearly tripled its output from the Virginia Tech debacle in Week 1 and AJ McCarron looked like his old self.  Rebounds abound until the Aggies meet new RT16 member Ole Miss on the 12th.

#5 Louisiana State, 3-0 (def Kent State 45-13): The Tigers are just biding their time…waiting for the meat of the SEC schedule to try and prove how strong of a team they really are.

#4 Alabama, 2-0 (def. Texas A&M 49-42): Offense is good again…defense was bad again against Texas A&M.  Look, here’s what the “experts” said about Alabama last week: “Virginia Tech has a great defense and will make a lot of team’s offenses look bad.”  This week?  Maybe a little something like: “Texas A&M has the best offense in the country and a lot of defenses will look bad against those guys.”  The win was impressive, but if this is the case, does a good offensive and defensive team just slaughter the Tide?  I would think no, but the Tide are 1-1 looking like a championship offense and 1-1 on looking like a championship defense.  Maybe you’re more optimistic and say “It proves if their defense struggles, they can outscore anyone and if their offense struggles they can stifle anyone”…stop being so optimistic, you know you want to see this damn dynasty die as much as the next non-Buhmuh denizen.

#3 Georgia, 1-1 (BYE): I wish the Dawgs would not have had a bye to continue to prove my lofty ranking, but I’ll rest on my laurels…the Dawgs could easily be 2-0 against what some people believe to be two top 10 teams.  Georgia is on the fast track to a National Title berth.  Forecast: good.

#2 Clemson, 2-0 (BYE): A BYE damns the Tigers from its #1 spot for the first time in the RT16.  That’s all I can say.

#1 Oregon, 3-0 (def. Tennessee 59-14): The Ducks just keep rolling along.  The SEC Vols nearly hung with the Ducks for a minute into the second quarter…what came after a 7-0 Tennessee lead?  59 straight Oregon points and the thrashing of an SEC opponent.  Chip Kelly might have picked a terrible year to depart.


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