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The Real Top 16

I think every reader should give themselves a mental high-five as you no doubt took my advice and put Stanford on upset alert this past weekend against Utah.  Only together can we achieve such greatness, loyal readers.  remember that when you decide to take your viewership somewhere else that together we are able to appear college football giants….anyway.

#16 Texas 4-2 (def. Oklahoma 36-20): No one should put the Longhorns or Sooners as dead in the water.  Oklahoma might have lost, but Texas is way better than 4-2 and is looking real once more.  The Longhorns gave up over 800 rushing yards to BYU and Ole Miss in back-to-back losses earlier this year, but I truly believe Texas has the most pure talent on both sides of the ball in the Big-12.  I don’t know if the defense will hold up against the likes of Oklahoma State, Baylor, and Texas Tech come November, but the Longhorns are definitely a team to watch.  Winning out is a very likely possibility…which puts them right back into a BCS Bowl.  Texas beats out Oklahoma for #16 because I truly believe Texas is a better team.

#15 Georgia, 4-2 (lost Mizzou 26-41): So yeah, I might have had that Stanford loss to Utah locked down….but I definitely drowned in my own embarrassment having said Georgia would rebound to win by a big margin against Missouri.  The Dawgs are limping out of the RT16, mostly thanks to their players limping off the field, and are lucky to have kept a spot.  If Missouri begins to slide as some might project, Georgia will slide right along with them out of sight.

#14 Virginia Tech,  5-1 (def. Pitt 19-9): No one is confusing the win with a heroic effort, but how under the radar has Va-Tech been this season?  Out of nowhere, the Hokies are on the fast track to the ACC Championship game and could miraculously steal a spot from the far better duo in the Atlantic division in the Orange Bowl this January.  Logan Thomas has gone from being the nation’s must puzzlingly bad player to a very draftable Quarterback.  The NFL knows how depressing potential is (Blaine Blabbert), but Logan is built as well as any QB in the nation.  It was probably easier when he was just goddamn awful.

#13 South Carolina, 5-1 (def. Arkansas 52-7): The Gamecocks are looking better than ever to make a charge and win the SEC East.  I’m not 100% sold on Missouri, although the Tigers will be placed slightly ahead of South Carolina this week, and we all know Florida is absolute offensive garbage.  The “fake” USC, however, is looking stronger than ever on the attacking side of the ball.  All Clowney nonsense aside, South Carolina might just end up being the SEC East champion to get slaughtered by the last man standing in the West.

#12 Louisville, 6-0 (def. Rutgers 24-10): Rutgers was the second best team left on the Cardinals schedule…you read that completely right.  Teddy Bridgewater was very “ehhh” this week and so the defense had to do a little extra weight pulling, but that’ll happen to anyone.  Louisville uttered a brief sigh of relief as Georgia and Stanford went down, but even those losses only net the Cardinals a 12 in the RT16.  They have to keep winning and hope everyone loses to some bad teams like Utah.

#11 UCLA, 5-0 (def. Cal 37-10): Did not have the opportunity to watch this game or any highlights, but I’ll let you know what I know from the box score: Brett Hundley is really good, Cal’s offense is bad against good defenses, and UCLA is excited to be visiting Stanford this weekend….will the Cardinal be mad after losing to Utah?  If only that was a real thing.

#10 Texas A&M, 5-1 (def. Ole Miss 41-38): This is the same Ole Miss team that scored 0 on Buhmuh, right?  The Rebels offense looked healthy against this atrocious A&M defense.  It’s honestly exciting watching every Texas A&M game because you know it’s going to be a track meet with both teams seemingly moving the ball at will.  Teams with this bad of defenses and this spectacular of offenses have a history of getting squished by the SEC powerhouses (see 2007, 2008, and 2009 National Championship Games). My man Johnny Ca$h Mon€y is ahead of his absurd Heismanberg numbers from merely a year ago and A&M already passed the Buhmuh test…not sold.

#9 Miami Florida, 5-0 (BYE): The Hurricanes are percentage points ahead of the Aggies, Bruins, and Cardinals.  All hold your breath for November 2nd.

It’s halftime.  I’m taking some of the time to explain the Pac-12 exits from the RT16:

-Stanford: the Cardinal suffered its first loss of the year…not too shabby.  It was also predicted by some, including yours truly, and so there obviously was a chance.  Let’s be honest, Utah is not a good team; therefore, the Cardinal deserve to drop.  Stanford already had an ugly win over Army and arguably lost the Washington game in every way but on the scoreboard.  Stanford is by no means dead, but Washington, Washington State, and Arizona State’s recent struggles doomed the Cardinal in this week’s edition.

-Washington: The Huskies fall because Stanford lost.  My darlings are still hot on the heels of Texas and others, but at this juncture lack the big time win to keep them floating in the RT16.  A win at home against Arizona State is just what the doctor ordered.

Alright, I had some other things I wanted to talk about at halftime, but they can wait another week.

#8 Missouri, 6-0 (def. Georgia 41-26): A #8 debut is nothing for Dekembe to wave his finger at.  The Tigers are still suspect, but have earned this spot, taking down former #2 Georgia on the road.  This ranking also aids the Dawgs who kept a spot in the RT16 because of Missouri’s high standing with the committee.  Florida and South Carolina come calling in the next two weeks…wins might make an SEC East Championship is a given.  The Tigers schedule is just hitting the meat and potatoes with A&M lurking week 15.  You want a prediction?  Missouri finishes a disappointing 3-3 in the next 6 with losses to South Carolina, Kentucky, and Texas A&M and misses the SEC Championship game.

#7 Baylor, 5-0 (def. Kansas State 35-25): Baylor only putting 35 is soul crushing for me, but the Bears showed they have a little more than an incendiary unit; they have some goddamn guts too.  Down on the road heading into the fourth is no way to go through a college football season, but the Bears manned up and sicked’em, scoring the only 14 of the frame.  I’m anticipating the December matchup with Texas in Waco to be for all the Big 12 marbles.

#6 Clemson, 6-0 (def. Boston College 24-10): The sigh from the “real” Death Valley was audible here in Columbus as the Vic “Clowney 2.0” Beasley rushed a fumble recovery to the house, giving Clemson the final score of a wayyyyy too close game.  Georgia’s loss only added the the pain for the Tigers as a signature win got a little less signature.  Well, at least the Florida State game is this wee……HOLY SHIT THE FLORIDA STATE GAME IS THIS WEEK!  BATON DOWN THE HATCHES AND DON’T MAKE ME LEAVE THE COUCH BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL SEASON!

#5 Ohio State, 6-0 (BYE): Here come my beloved Buckeyes, sneaking up the RT16.  It was a win-win…or lose-lose…for the Bucks with Wisconsin playing Northwestern this weekend.  I think the Bucks benefit as they looked nearly dominant over Wisconsin who looked completely dominant over Northwestern.  Ohio State needs both of those teams to win a heck of a lot of games as this season wears on, but it was a productive Saturday with Stanford and Georgia going down here in Columbus.  Iowa visits the Horseshoe this week.  It’s a 3:30 game, which makes me happy both because I can sleep in a little AND get somewhere to watch Florida State-Clemson.

#4 Florida State, 6-0 (BYE): While Clemson spent all week practicing for Florida State and nearly muffing it against Boston College, Florida State had a legitimate bye week in order to prepare for the Tigers.  Nothing spells “College Football” like the only game standing between you and a National Championship.  It’s like win or go home except you still have to suffer through playing far less meaningful games.

#3 Alabuhmuh, 6-0 (def. Kentucky 48-7): Mark May and Lou Holtz (the most unbearable duo in television history) debated if A.J. McCarron was the most important player in college football…I’ll save that topic, but it’s true McCarron picked it up a little this past week against Kentucky.  Buhmuh is raising through the ranks of the RT16 and might just have what it takes to win both a National Championship and a REAL National Championship…stay tuned.

#2 Lousiana State, 5-1 (def. Florida 17-6): LSU might have looked a little bit like the old defensive powerhouse against Florida, but we all know the Gators have perhaps the worst offense in the conference.  Les Miles was clearly fired up over the win, and has every right to be as the BCS and AP will look fondly at this win.  LSU has two chances to prove itself as a National Title contender and prove me right about keeping them in front of Buhmuh all this time in roughly four weeks when they visit Tuscaloosa.

#1 Oregon, 6-0 (def. Washington 45-24): How could they dare do this to my darlings?  The Ducks pushed over the fighting Huskies in the fourth quarter.  UCLA and Stanford in back-to-back weekends will fill us in on the Ducks season as they represent the only two teams with a punchers chance to somehow put down this offensive juggernaut.


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